One family from Louisiana, was very traditional in thinking a "real man" is tough, macho, and rough and a women's role consists of cleaning, cooking, and general housework. The husband and three son's appalled doing anything considered feminine and the wife agreed with these views.
The other family from California, consisted of a husband and wife team of ballet dancers and their son, also training to be a dancer. The family was very interested in the arts, cheese & wine, theater, and opera. The wife and husband both do household work, such as cleaning and cooking. Needless to say, these two families experienced a lot of culture shock when the wives of each family went to live with the other family.
The show starts with the wives from the other families living to the hosting families expectations. The wife from California was pretty annoyed that she was expected to do ALL the housework, and was quickly exhausted without the help of others in the house. The wife from Louisiana was obviously uncomfortable and was constantly putting down the husband and son from California stating they were not real men; that no woman would want a "soft man" who acts feminine and likes to dance and use moisturizer.
For the second half of the show the wives set the rules and try to make the families live how they prefer. The wife from Louisiana said she was "more of a man" than the husband from CA. She told them she was going to teach him, and his son, how to be real men. She brought in a huge biker looking guy to do a sort of military routine which had them rolling in mud and grunting.
The wife from California attempted to make the husband and children from Louisiana to do some housework and was going to teach the boys ballet. The husband promptly announced "they're not girls, they're boys". The husband, after doing housework, said "it's lazy persons work" (sp). And when one of the boys refused to do laundry the conversation went like this:
Wife Swapee: "Your going to have to learn how to clean up
after yourself."
Boy: "No, I won't."
Wife Swapee: "oh, yeah..who's going to clean up after you?"
Boy: "My girlfriend!"
It was clear neither family was comfortable stepping out of their boundaries. The show really made me think a lot about how our family and community impact our expectations of men and women. Both of these families were on the opposite spectrum when it comes to gender beliefs, and both were pretty unaccepting of each others values. From an viewer's perspective, the show is amusing and entertaining but may also help watchers reflect on their own beliefs and learn to be more open and respectful of other's values. It might actually be a decent reality show, at least this episode.
Reposting my week 2 comments as they were not posted correctly before.
ReplyDeleteHi Kesha,
I'm proud of you for sticking your ground when talking with your aunt. I’ve been in that situation and I’ve buckled and just walked away with out saying anything. Here’s my story: I have been with my boyfriend for seven years. We lived together between years 1.5 to about 6.5. At about three years we were engaged but I broke it off because I felt we both had some growing to. Three years after breaking it off, I realized I was the one doing all the changing. I hate to admit it but I had become co-dependant and was "waiting" for him to change. I finally realized I needed to get back in touch with myself and moved out on my own. (I read a lot of good books, namely "Loving him without Loosing Yourself", if anyone is interested.) Anyhow, we are still together, being monogamous, but live in separate houses. Before I moved out his mother was constantly asking me when I was going to marry her son and his dad was always pressuring to give him some grandchildren. This made me very uncomfortable and it actually helped me with the decision to move out. I still get a lot of grief from his family, mostly his mother. I think society’s expectations of relationships and marriage are changing but many are trying to hold onto previous expectations because it is more comfortable.
On a side note, our relationship is great. We are both getting back in touch with ourselves and appreciating each other more. At the end of my lease I will make the decision to stay put, move in together again, or move on. I am thankful that I live in a society where I can live alone at 30, not be married, and not be a freak in society.