Week #2 Comments (Kesha)

Hi Kesha,

I'm proud of you for sticking your ground when talking with your aunt. I’ve been in that situation and I’ve buckled and just walked away with out saying anything. Here’s my story: I have been with my boyfriend for seven years. We lived together between years 1.5 to about 6.5. At about three years we were engaged but I broke it off because I felt we both had some growing to. Three years after breaking it off, I realized I was the one doing all the changing. I hate to admit it but I had become co-dependant and was "waiting" for him to change. I finally realized I needed to get back in touch with myself and moved out on my own. (I read a lot of good books, namely "Loving him without Loosing Yourself", if anyone is interested.) Anyhow, we are still together, being monogamous, but live in separate houses. Before I moved out his mother was constantly asking me when I was going to marry her son and his dad was always pressuring to give him some grandchildren. This made me very uncomfortable and it actually helped me with the decision to move out. I still get a lot of grief from his family, mostly his mother. I think society’s expectations of relationships and marriage are changing but many are trying to hold onto previous expectations because it is more comfortable.

On a side note, our relationship is great. We are both getting back in touch with ourselves and appreciating each other more. At the end of my lease I will make the decision to stay put, move in together again, or move on. I am thankful that I live in a society where I can live alone at 30, not be married, and not be a freak in society.

Tonya