Friday, June 26, 2009
Week 6 Eureka Moment
I had been waiting for my weekly eureka moment to happen and it finally occured when I was reviewing a peers wiki. The wiki prompted me to think about how women are portayed in movies. The movie He's Just Not That into You popped right into my mind. By chance I have read the book and seen the movie. I found the movie was totally different than the book. I picked up the book when I could not sleep at a friends house and found it a quick read. I was impressed becaues the book was writen by a male (ok, it had a female co-writer) but it emphasised being true to yourself and not changing who you are for a man. It said that women should not be so desperate to wait by the phone for a man, but instead, move on to someone who likes them for who they are. It was a completely different twist on what society tells women to do. The movie on the other hand was TOTALLY different. I watched in on a flight and it took the same subject and focused on women being soooo desperate for men and relationships. It was really disapointed because it took something that was a powerful read for women and made it conform to societies preoccupation on women being unhappy without a man. I would love to hear your feedback on the book or movie.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Week 5 Eureka Moment
I had a rather unusual experience the other day while visiting a shoe store. My boyfriend and I were going into the store and I reached the door first, so I opened it and naturally held the door open for him, myself following behind. I didn’t even think anything of it. We do this for each other all the time. The unusual thing about it was this middle aged man, who spoke like he was from the south said – out loud – “she opened the door for you, isn’t that backward?” We were both so caught off guard by it that we just smiled and moved on. We talked about it later though, and think maybe this man was indeed from down south which is why it was more shocking to him as it seams southerners are more traditional in their gender roles. I open doors for everyone, men or women, boyfriend, friends or strangers. I wonder if this strikes anyone as something unusual and if you think this man felt the need to speak up because he was from the south? From your experience does region make a difference in the way one thinks about gender?
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Week 4 Eureka Moment
I have been hesitant to post my eureka moment for the week because, although it somewhat relates to this weeks readings (chapter 8), it's quite personal. Nothing quite as "ah-ha" has happened this week so here goes.
I was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder last year at age 29. I recently saw my doctor who prescribes my medication and she told me that many women my age are not diagnosed until adulthood. During the early 80's ADD, or rather ADHD, was a hot topic but much like my case, girls with ADD were often diagnosed with depression in youth because the disorder does not usually present the same "typical" symptoms in girls as it does in boys. Boys with ADD typically have hyperactivity and girls do not. Since our society generally uses the male sex as benchmarks for illnesses, it has taken about two decades for professionals to really be able to identify ADD in young girls. She told me that looking back at my childhood records all the red flags for ADD in girls were there. I had difficulty completing assignments, focusing on readings, and often isolated myself from the class distractions. In first grade I remember having my mother called to pick me up because I was reading in the classroom coat closet. I couldn't focus in the loud classroom when everyone was talking and goofing around during private study time. At a very young age I was diagnosed with depression because my teachers felt I was a daydreamer and didn't apply myself. The child study team and independent psychiatrist I saw felt that I must be doing poorly in school because I was depressed. This label remained with me throughout my school years and I was placed and remained in special education. I ended up being placed in an inpatient mental heath facility two times during different summers because my symptoms did not seam to get better with the medications I tried. Never once was I refered to a neurologist or was ADD mentioned.
The special education classroom actually made things worse because it provided less structure and a more vibrant and distracting environment. I remember the teachers focusing more on the boys, and providing them with a lot more encouragement and independent help. There was one other girl in my class and we were often asked to do things that the male students didn't have to do. We were expected to clean the chalkboard, organize the shelves and other things. We were expected to help tutor the younger students and little attention was given to our own studies. I soon gave up on school work, because although I tested very high in assessments and IQ, I thought something was wrong with me because I wasn't able to do the work or break assignments down into manageable smaller tasks.
I find it frustrating that my doctor, when reviewing my school records from the child study team, says it would be so obvious now. I feel like I could have done much more with school, and my life if I was properly diagnosed as a child and given the correct medication and taught coping and learning skills. My doctor said that the antidepressants I was on likely made my ADD symptoms worse because they increased serotonin and reduced dopamine...just the opposite of what I needed. I would have saved myself from a lot of self hatred. I am glad that I was diagnosed last year, when I started the medication it was like a light bulb turned on. My life is much more fulfilling now that I am learning to deal with this disorder, but it would have been much easier at an early age. I have to break myself of all the negative habits I've developed over the years to deal with things. I only can hope that educators and physicians continue to realize that girls and boys are different and when I have children they don't go through what I did.
I was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder last year at age 29. I recently saw my doctor who prescribes my medication and she told me that many women my age are not diagnosed until adulthood. During the early 80's ADD, or rather ADHD, was a hot topic but much like my case, girls with ADD were often diagnosed with depression in youth because the disorder does not usually present the same "typical" symptoms in girls as it does in boys. Boys with ADD typically have hyperactivity and girls do not. Since our society generally uses the male sex as benchmarks for illnesses, it has taken about two decades for professionals to really be able to identify ADD in young girls. She told me that looking back at my childhood records all the red flags for ADD in girls were there. I had difficulty completing assignments, focusing on readings, and often isolated myself from the class distractions. In first grade I remember having my mother called to pick me up because I was reading in the classroom coat closet. I couldn't focus in the loud classroom when everyone was talking and goofing around during private study time. At a very young age I was diagnosed with depression because my teachers felt I was a daydreamer and didn't apply myself. The child study team and independent psychiatrist I saw felt that I must be doing poorly in school because I was depressed. This label remained with me throughout my school years and I was placed and remained in special education. I ended up being placed in an inpatient mental heath facility two times during different summers because my symptoms did not seam to get better with the medications I tried. Never once was I refered to a neurologist or was ADD mentioned.
The special education classroom actually made things worse because it provided less structure and a more vibrant and distracting environment. I remember the teachers focusing more on the boys, and providing them with a lot more encouragement and independent help. There was one other girl in my class and we were often asked to do things that the male students didn't have to do. We were expected to clean the chalkboard, organize the shelves and other things. We were expected to help tutor the younger students and little attention was given to our own studies. I soon gave up on school work, because although I tested very high in assessments and IQ, I thought something was wrong with me because I wasn't able to do the work or break assignments down into manageable smaller tasks.
I find it frustrating that my doctor, when reviewing my school records from the child study team, says it would be so obvious now. I feel like I could have done much more with school, and my life if I was properly diagnosed as a child and given the correct medication and taught coping and learning skills. My doctor said that the antidepressants I was on likely made my ADD symptoms worse because they increased serotonin and reduced dopamine...just the opposite of what I needed. I would have saved myself from a lot of self hatred. I am glad that I was diagnosed last year, when I started the medication it was like a light bulb turned on. My life is much more fulfilling now that I am learning to deal with this disorder, but it would have been much easier at an early age. I have to break myself of all the negative habits I've developed over the years to deal with things. I only can hope that educators and physicians continue to realize that girls and boys are different and when I have children they don't go through what I did.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Week #3 Eureka Moment
Up until recently my office had one male in it. However, due to some restructuring of my office that manager was moved out and I now work with 11 others (including managers), who are all female. I didn't realize how much of a change it would create in the department. The male manager who left was always very sexist with his comments. I think he thought it was funny, but it made us all uncomfortable. He used to say he was allowed to make comments because he lived in a house of women as well (his wife, three daughters and cat and dog). Not a day went by where we didn't all roll our eyes after he opened his mouth.
His comments ranged from inappropriate comments about the clothing someone wore, or how emotional or moody women were, to things like "you girls are crazy" or "we need to hire some men for you". It was as though every time he said anything he had to put a spin on it about how we were all women, which I don't think was ever relevant. My favorite comments from him were about how catty and gossipy women were, however during our one-on-one meetings he would always talk about everyone else, saying things like "between you and me, so-and-so isn't doing this well, or so-and-so said such about another person". He was the biggest gossiper of the group.
Anyhow, since he moved he pops his head in every day, to try to talk to us and I noticed how no one gives him any attention at all. We all ignore his comments, which have oddly now become less sexist. That was my eureka moment for the week; realizing we all act and treat him differently now that he is no longer one of our managers. It's as though we all put up with him before because he was one of our bosses and no one thought he passed the line into sexual harassment. Now, I wonder if we should have ever said anything to HR.
Recently another man in his new department said he made very inappropriate comments to him about a young, attractive, new hire he made. I am torn because I don't know if these comments are real, or exaggerated and I feel I have a duty to alert HR. I worry about how my job security may be affected if I am the whistle blower. What would you do?
His comments ranged from inappropriate comments about the clothing someone wore, or how emotional or moody women were, to things like "you girls are crazy" or "we need to hire some men for you". It was as though every time he said anything he had to put a spin on it about how we were all women, which I don't think was ever relevant. My favorite comments from him were about how catty and gossipy women were, however during our one-on-one meetings he would always talk about everyone else, saying things like "between you and me, so-and-so isn't doing this well, or so-and-so said such about another person". He was the biggest gossiper of the group.
Anyhow, since he moved he pops his head in every day, to try to talk to us and I noticed how no one gives him any attention at all. We all ignore his comments, which have oddly now become less sexist. That was my eureka moment for the week; realizing we all act and treat him differently now that he is no longer one of our managers. It's as though we all put up with him before because he was one of our bosses and no one thought he passed the line into sexual harassment. Now, I wonder if we should have ever said anything to HR.
Recently another man in his new department said he made very inappropriate comments to him about a young, attractive, new hire he made. I am torn because I don't know if these comments are real, or exaggerated and I feel I have a duty to alert HR. I worry about how my job security may be affected if I am the whistle blower. What would you do?
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