Thursday, June 18, 2009
Week 5 Eureka Moment
I had a rather unusual experience the other day while visiting a shoe store. My boyfriend and I were going into the store and I reached the door first, so I opened it and naturally held the door open for him, myself following behind. I didn’t even think anything of it. We do this for each other all the time. The unusual thing about it was this middle aged man, who spoke like he was from the south said – out loud – “she opened the door for you, isn’t that backward?” We were both so caught off guard by it that we just smiled and moved on. We talked about it later though, and think maybe this man was indeed from down south which is why it was more shocking to him as it seams southerners are more traditional in their gender roles. I open doors for everyone, men or women, boyfriend, friends or strangers. I wonder if this strikes anyone as something unusual and if you think this man felt the need to speak up because he was from the south? From your experience does region make a difference in the way one thinks about gender?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Tonya,
ReplyDeleteI am definitely older than you (probably your mother's age), I just think that it's common courtesy if you get to a door first to open it whether you are doing it for a woman or man. That man, in my opinion, should have minded his own business!
Response to Joan's week 5 post:
ReplyDeleteGood for you for speaking up. I didn't really think about how many sexist comments are made as a part of everyday life before this class. I think I just accepted it as the way it was, but clearly these kinds of things need to be challenged and addressed. Statements like these boys made perpetrate discrimination. Men and women are different but we should learn to appreciation of our difference not use them to put the other down. Today's boy's need to be exposed to the fact that girls can be good in sports too. I wonder if these kids learn these things from their fathers (or mother's). If no one speaks up nothing will change.
Response to Robin's week 5 post:
ReplyDeleteWow! I agree with Robin, as educators, you should think of the individual and not their sex. The books and packs should have been chosen on what each child would likely want to read or use and not on if it was too "girly" or "boyish". It's bad that these kinds of stereotypes are so ingrained in people. If my boyfriend wears a purple shirt or tie with pink in it to work he always gets comments. I'm proud that he continues to wear what he likes and doesn't let others make him feel wrong about it.
Response to Taran G.'s week 5 post:
ReplyDeleteI could see how these people decided trees were manly and flowers girly but I've sent my boyfriend flowers before and he loved it. I sent them to his work when they opened a new hotel, and his boss was blown away. His boss said he wished his wife would have send him flowers. I was a little worried about doing it, because I wasn't sure how his colleagues would have taken it but everyone loved the fact that I did it. Why shouldn't a man have something beautiful to look at on his desk? This makes me think of all the commercials we are seeing for fathers day now. For mother's day it's all flowers but for father's day it's send a fruit bouquet or a coffee assortment.
Response to Teandra's week 5:
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure how I would have handled this situation myself, but I think you did a good job. I know someone who is constantly complaining that his ex-wife is taking him for all he makes. The guy doesn't make a lot and is way behind on his child support. I usually don't get into it because there are other issues (she won't let him see his kids, and returns checks he sends them for their birthday) but I can understand the women wanting to take care of her kids. She is actually much, much better off then him though, and remarried which also brought her income up, so I do feel for him too. If I was in your brother's child's mother's place I would have done the same thing. My mother didn't involve the courts when she divorced and it didn't take long for my father to stop. Even if someone is providing financial security, I think it is a good idea for the parents to make sure that support continues, for the best of thier child(ren).
You know, It's interesting because I was reading an article the other day while at the doctors office, it was made by that man, the matchmaker on the show Tough Love. I recell, now that you brought it up, reading something in the "signs" signs meaning, signs your over doing it and what you need to do to fix it so a man will find you approachable, and one sign said something like... if you find yourself opening or holding doors for everyone, men or women. I thought that was kinda strange. My parents always taught me that that was the polite thing to do, and I felt myself wishing i could talk to this guy, that if anything, i would think - would make a man NOT want to be with you if you just walk through a door and not hold it for them, letting it slam in their face. I think it makes you look stuck up and rude. I don;t view myself as a princess or high above males just because i am female.
ReplyDeleteI DO believe there is a difference between area in the country and how men act, their thoughts on women. I have moved quite alot in my life. I have lived in New England-(Rhode Island), the south- (Virginia), the mid-west - (Ohio), and now the tri-state area- ( New Jersey). I have certainly noticed a difference in the way that men act and the way they interpret women. I feel that the South certainly are raised differently based on "respect" for women in the sense of the classic chivalry role, holding doors for women, standing up from a table when a woman enters a room or rises to be excused. Its interesting how some women may interpret this if not accustomed to it. Some women view it as, what ever you can do i can do also, or better, there is no need to open doors for me or give me special treatment. It depends on what you are surrounded by and how you were raised. I do feel that the north east is a bit more fast pace and less traditional, therefore making situations like this different from how other places would react or perform.
Thats a big reason why I find it strange when i read a book that groups "American society" as one. i feel that some things are acceptable in some areas, and unacceptable in others. Each place is very different.
-Taran