I have been hesitant to post my eureka moment for the week because, although it somewhat relates to this weeks readings (chapter 8), it's quite personal. Nothing quite as "ah-ha" has happened this week so here goes.
I was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder last year at age 29. I recently saw my doctor who prescribes my medication and she told me that many women my age are not diagnosed until adulthood. During the early 80's ADD, or rather ADHD, was a hot topic but much like my case, girls with ADD were often diagnosed with depression in youth because the disorder does not usually present the same "typical" symptoms in girls as it does in boys. Boys with ADD typically have hyperactivity and girls do not. Since our society generally uses the male sex as benchmarks for illnesses, it has taken about two decades for professionals to really be able to identify ADD in young girls. She told me that looking back at my childhood records all the red flags for ADD in girls were there. I had difficulty completing assignments, focusing on readings, and often isolated myself from the class distractions. In first grade I remember having my mother called to pick me up because I was reading in the classroom coat closet. I couldn't focus in the loud classroom when everyone was talking and goofing around during private study time. At a very young age I was diagnosed with depression because my teachers felt I was a daydreamer and didn't apply myself. The child study team and independent psychiatrist I saw felt that I must be doing poorly in school because I was depressed. This label remained with me throughout my school years and I was placed and remained in special education. I ended up being placed in an inpatient mental heath facility two times during different summers because my symptoms did not seam to get better with the medications I tried. Never once was I refered to a neurologist or was ADD mentioned.
The special education classroom actually made things worse because it provided less structure and a more vibrant and distracting environment. I remember the teachers focusing more on the boys, and providing them with a lot more encouragement and independent help. There was one other girl in my class and we were often asked to do things that the male students didn't have to do. We were expected to clean the chalkboard, organize the shelves and other things. We were expected to help tutor the younger students and little attention was given to our own studies. I soon gave up on school work, because although I tested very high in assessments and IQ, I thought something was wrong with me because I wasn't able to do the work or break assignments down into manageable smaller tasks.
I find it frustrating that my doctor, when reviewing my school records from the child study team, says it would be so obvious now. I feel like I could have done much more with school, and my life if I was properly diagnosed as a child and given the correct medication and taught coping and learning skills. My doctor said that the antidepressants I was on likely made my ADD symptoms worse because they increased serotonin and reduced dopamine...just the opposite of what I needed. I would have saved myself from a lot of self hatred. I am glad that I was diagnosed last year, when I started the medication it was like a light bulb turned on. My life is much more fulfilling now that I am learning to deal with this disorder, but it would have been much easier at an early age. I have to break myself of all the negative habits I've developed over the years to deal with things. I only can hope that educators and physicians continue to realize that girls and boys are different and when I have children they don't go through what I did.
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Response to Tiffany's post: OMG! This did make me laugh. My boyfriend and I were talking about our first date recently and he said one thing he liked about me at that moment was that I didn't order a salad. He thought I must be really confident and comfortable with myself to order the big ol' steak and potatoes I ate. He was the one who actually ordered a salad! I have heard comments like these from men, and women but I say, eat what you like not what "society" dictates.
ReplyDeleteResponse to Taryn's post:
ReplyDeleteActually the state passed a bill requiring paid FMLA starting in July for all companies with 50 employees or more. The paid benefit is up to 2/3 your pay for 6 weeks and the cost is partially covered by payroll deductions and the company does not have to contribute to the cost. It uses existing temporary disabilty benefits, but this bill now passes those benefits onto caring for ill family members or bonding with newborns or adopted children where previously it only covered the employees illnesses or prenatal care and delivery. In addition companies with less then 50 employees do not have to hold a position for someone who is out on FMLA.
Personally, I am happy this bill has been passed. I often have to take my own sick days to take my ailing grandparents to doctors appointments. This ruling will allow me to use my sick days for when I am really sick, and permit me partially paid days to use for my grandparents doctors visits.
You specifically asked about using the benefits to start a family and I think that it's a good thing. My company has a generous program in place already, which gives 3 months paid time off for either parent after a birth. They also give two weeks paid vacation for marriages or recognized commitment ceremonies. I think a company who balances work-life issues has happier employees, who work harder then employees who don't feel appreciated as a human being outside of work.
Response to Taran's post: Ok, I am going to admit I was one of those girls. When I was in my early 20's my friend and I liked to hang at this certain bar and guys would always buy us drinks. One day we were broke and wanted to go there and she said "who cares if were broke, they'll take care of us". There after it turned into a game, and since it was mostly regulars the guys didn't take it too far. We also had girls buy us drinks. We would walk straight up to someone and ask, "would you like to by me and my friends a drink, no strings attached" and it usually worked. We would converse with the purchaser and then move on. I actually met my boyfriend of 7 years this way. After we started dating the game ended.
ReplyDeleteResponse to Kesha's post: I remember when this movie came out, everyone was talking about this. I went to the movie expecting it to be vulgar, but honestly after the first few scenes I forgot about it. I think movies that show male or female anatomy should be rated the same way. We all have "bits and pieces" and by making movies that show them NC17 it sends a message to people that we should be ashamed of nudity. It's more the context of the scene or movie that I think should be judged. I think some movies rated r which show graphic sex scenes and extreme violence, like rape, should be rated NC 17.
ReplyDeleteHey Tonya... society has many problems and we have a long way to go. Even when it comes to ADD or ADHD in boys, sometimes parents mistake it for "boys just being boys". I have a few cousins who have NOW been properly diagnosed with ADHD, but prior to that their parents just associated their hyperactive nature to them being boys. Is that to say boys are just generally more wild than girls?
ReplyDeleteTonya,
ReplyDeleteTo an extent, I know how you feel. I am 21 and was diagnosed with ADD when I was 19 years old, beginning my Soph. year in college. I remember realizing the difficulty I had to complete assignments or even tasks around the house, like clean my room or even just get up off my seat and go to my sports practices. I was hardly ever motivated and hardly could connect situations. For example, my mind would wander during the worst times: reading, I would have to re-read pages, books, chapters just because every time I would start to read, I would be thinking of other things. Then it started getting scary, and dangerous. I would drive home from school, an hour and a half, and hardly remember how I had gotten there, because I was just thinking about a million other things.
I had always done well in school, but I had to be VERY dedicated, and determined, which at times, it just called for too much from me. I explained my concern to my mom and right away she took me to a doctor.
On the way, she explained that she had actually tried to have me screened for ADD at a young age, but never believed in medicine fixing things about who we are, so when I said I wanted nothing to do with it, she let it go right away.
Once she had told me this, I remembered the time. I had to bring tests and questionnaires to my teachers etc. and the thought of me being on medicine? Well as a young child I viewed this as : if I go on medicine, that means there is something wrong with me. So i denied the idea and procedure to the fullest.
Now, I can see where your situation was far different, but I too know what its like to be an adult with the disorder. It really makes a world of difference with the help. What did and didn't happened to you as a young girl is unfortunate. Luckily things are set straight and we have people who are including girls in on their research ... You're right though, it's upsetting that men and boys are always the tested result and the measurement they tend to use overall.
-Taran